Hello, folks! This is Johnny Bullseye, your Second Amendment reporter, bringing you another exciting interview from the annals of firearm history. Today we are privileged to interview that great American patriot, Paul Revere.
“Paul, most Americans remember you for your famous midnight ride on April 18, 1775. What was that all about?”
“Well, Johnny, in those days old King George knew he could never impose his will on us as long as we had arms. So his army, commanded by General Gage, devised a plan to seize our biggest arms cache which was stored in the vicinity of Concord.”
“Hmmm . . . by arms you mean fowling pieces or guns for taking small game, right?”
“Oh no, we had full grade military weapons. How else could we match the Red Coats bullet for bullet, volley for volley? Remember, we were the ‘Sons of Liberty’. We stood prepared to defend her at a moment’s notice. Of course, we had our rifles and ammunition in our homes and ready to go.”
“But Paul, isn’t it dangerous to have guns in the home where children might play with them and hurt themselves?”
“Ha, you sound like Mistress Dora Feinstein and her ‘Make Tea, Not War Society’. Her people believe that it’s unsafe for anyone but the king’s constables or the king’s soldiers to carry guns. Of course, it doesn’t cross their minds that being enslaved beneath the king’s boot might also be an unsafe position.”
“Just why is that so bad, Paul?”
“Well, to give you just one example, following the Seven Years’ War (you moderns call it the French and Indian War) we colonists were taxed exclusively, without our consent, in order to maintain the king’s army on our soil. Furthermore, the king was disposed to quarter his troops in our houses. That was followed by the royal imposition of the Stamp Act which forced up the price of everything. Why I almost lost my business and my home because no one could buy my goods.”
“What a bad policy, it must have hurt everyone”.
“Almost everyone. A fellow merchant, Mikhail Bloomberg, is a publisher who got rich printing the King’s decrees. . As you can imagine, he’s a royal sympathizer who works tirelessly to disarm us.”
“But why would he want to do that?”
“Let’s just say that he’s got a sweet spot being the king’s printer. Some say he aspires to become the royal governor of New York. Besides, he’s so immensely rich that he doesn’t consider rabble like us worthy of being defended.”
“I see. Well, tell me, what induced you to make your famous midnight ride?”
“I think we can agree that disarmed people have to be compliant. They can be ordered, against their will, to do just about anything. I rode to alert my countrymen to take up their arms. Subsequently, they were prepared to face the King’s soldiers at Lexington and Concord. I think you moderns call it ‘The Shot heard ‘round the World’.” Truly, for the first time in modern history, ordinary people everywhere understood that when properly armed they could overthrow any suffocating tyranny.”
“Did you do anything else for the war effort?”
“As a matter of fact, I served in the American army. In addition, notwithstanding my reputation as a silversmith, I started a powder mill so that Americans would be well supplied with sufficient ammunition.”
“Did you have a role in inspiring the 2nd Amendment?”
“Absolutely! James Madison insisted on adding the Second Amendment to the constitution based on our war experience. All of the founders understood the importance of empowering the people with the means to resist oppression. Of course, we had some resistance. There was that pesky delegate from New York, Carl Schumer who kept muttering something about a musket show loophole. Nevertheless, we got the job done.”
“Anything else, Paul?”
“Yes. With all due respect to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, my, er . . . ‘midnight ride’ actually took place around 10 PM.”
“Thank you, Paul.”
Johnny Bullseye here, saying “Goodbye” until next time.
—Wallace Schwam, MD is a retired internist with interests in geriatrics and pharmacology who trained at Duke University. He rated expert in marksmanship in the Army and continues to enjoy hunting and tactical training with handgun, rifle and shotgun.